Grace San Diego

I love to go to the movies or rent a great video and just get away from all the stresses and challenges of an average day. It's great to laugh at a good comedy, get caught up in an intense thriller or even shed a couple tears over a tragic romance (real men cry, you know). There's something about watching other people's lives that takes your mind off your own "stuff."

Ever want to be in the movies?

Have you ever wanted to be in movies? Imagine for a moment that every detail of your life is projected on a giant screen in a public place for everyone to see, including all your greatest mistakes and embarrassments. Everything exposed - everything revealed - absolutely everything. For most of us, the guilt and shame would be overwhelming. We'd feel like running away from both the exposure and the consequences. In one way or another, many of us have done just that at some point in our lives. We run emotionally by building walls that keep people at arms length. Or, we wear masks that make it seem like everything is just fine...but it isn't. Some of us pretend we are better than the rest because we have been "fortunate" enough to keep our private failings, private. And in doing so, we have a false sense of insulation.

Running Away

When my oldest daughter, Karrie was a little girl, she threatened to run away hoping she could get out of the discipline she was receiving that day. She decided life would be better across the street. So, her mom packed her a nice little lunch and she headed off to a neighbor's porch. She watched to see if we were following; we weren't. Little did she know that we were spying on her from an upstairs window. Nevertheless, this was a big step for a six-old old. We wondered how long it would take her to miss us.

Karrie ate her lunch and twiddled her thumbs for a while. Bored and lonely, she decided to come home and face the consequences. And of course, she was welcomed back as if she'd been gone for a year with great exclamations of joy and love, so she would know her departure had an impact. When your child runs away, you respond. When you know they are feeling alone and rejected, you pursue.

Ten years later as a teenager, Karrie would run again. This time the running and rebellion was much more serious. She was still living in our home, but her heart was long gone. And the pursuit of a rebellious daughter became almost an obsession for her father. At one point, it was the most important thing in my life...to retrieve Karrie from the friends she running with, the drugs she was doing and all the other things that were a part of her lifestyle of sin. She and I will never forget the day we reconciled...the beginning of her new life was a day for rejoicing. And, we will never be the same. Our hearts have been connected in a way that is unique. Even today, our closeness is much more intense because of our journey through the process of restoration.

The lie that extinguishes hope:

There is a lie pervasive in our society that says that at some unclear, yet ever-present point...we've gone too far. We fear there is a line crossed, a sin committed, a wrong done that cannot be forgiven. There is no going home, no chance for restoration or reconciliation. So when is "enough, enough? Is it three strikes you're out? Is there one or more "unforgivable sins"?

Jesus had been criticized often by the religious leaders of the day for his interaction with those they referred to as "tax collectors and sinners". They were incensed that he would "contaminate" himself with unworthy and rebellious members of society. Jesus found these religious leaders --these Pharisees-- very annoying. Even today, "religious" people can be annoying. They are more wrapped up in exacting justice than extending mercy. They are pious and perfect on the outside, but their hearts and minds are rotting from their own self-righteous attitudes.

Three parables that ignite hope:

In Luke chapter 15 you can read Jesus' response to the Pharisees as he teaches using three parables: We often call them the parables of "the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost (or prodigal) son". If you study closely, you will see that the focus of His teaching is not on the "lost", but rather on the heart and intent of the seeker. They have taken ownership of their lost possession (a shepherd seeking his sheep, a woman searching for her coin, and a father his son) and are pursuing with all their might that which they view as precious. Each seeker represents the heart of God toward us...the lost one.

The good son, the bad son and the father

There are three important people in the story of the prodigal son. The older brother in Jewish tradition is the one who has the right to his father's inheritance. In this parable, he is the responsible and obedient child and he represents the Pharisees who are questioning Jesus. His younger brother wants "his share" of his father's wealth - right now. He represents all who want to "go their own way" - that would be each and everyone of us at one time or another in our lives. The focus of the parable is the father (representing God) who grants his youngest son's request to receive his inheritance immediately.

With all his money in hand, the son leaves the family only to squander it all in short order. Far from home, he must resort to becoming a hired hand and eating with the pigs. He is miserable and alone. Coming to his senses and realizing the huge error of his choices, he desires to go home and executes a plan. In Luke 15:16 he says, "I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me one of your hired men."

The heart of a father

How would you respond if your son or daughter had wasted everything you had given them? What would your initial reaction be as they turned the bend toward home? The prodigal son was ready for the worst. But, nothing could have prepared him for what he received. Luke 15:20 says, "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him." Not only did he receive him with open arms, he prepared a feast, put his best robe across his shoulders, a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet as well.

A brother's indignation

The older brother was seething with jealousy and anger, refusing to join in the celebration of his brother's return. His father pleaded with him and the oldest son replied in verse 29: "For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends, but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him."

Love that surpasses sin

The father replied to his incredulous son, "Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found." In his father's economy of love...his younger son did not, could not "go too far".

"Unfair!" the older son shouted. Given his way, the brother would have exacted "justice". "Mercy!" the father replied. God's reconciliation is a matter of showing mercy, of accepting that justice can be set aside for the purpose of restored intimacy. In this powerful parable we learn three important components that lead to personal wholeness and reconciliation.

#1 Repentance

The younger son returned to the father with a repentant heart and was embraced with love. He changed his mind, surrendered his heart and turned away from his previous sin.

#2 Forgiveness

The father could have rejected the son. He could have made him "jump through hoops" and prove his worthiness for receiving forgiveness and mercy. But, he didn't. Our perfect Father knows that we need mercy and grace in order to move forward. Otherwise, we become paralyzed in our guilt and shame.

#3 Intimacy

True intimacy is not a matter of deserving love. It is a matter of desiring love. We must desire to both give and receive it. Whether you are the one who "abandons" or the one "abandoned", intimacy comes only when you are willing to risk. Both parties must hunger for the powerful blessing of authentic and selfless connection. God will never reject you. People may. Nevertheless, you must believe...it is worth the risk.

If you've run away from God, I have great news for you. You've not gone too far. Whatever that sin is or that series of sins...whatever that lifestyle you've entrenched your life in...you've not gone too far. You can come home. That is not to say you should live with reckless abandon. There are consequences to poor choices...they can damage you and others. But, it is never too late, you have never gone to far to reconcile with God.

What about you?

Are you willing to pursue others, (even those who hurt you) in the same way God pursues you? Are you willing to forgive, restore and reconcile as He has? I have learned a very powerful, yet frightening truth through the years: Everyone is emotionally vulnerable. We are not as strong as we think. We are all capable of very dark and damaging behaviors given a certain series circumstances. In I Corinthians 10:12 it says, "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall."

God forgives even though we grieve His Holy Spirit with our defiant and rebellious behavior. His love prevails even though there is a time of interrupted fellowship as His loving discipline guides us back home. Let us learn from Him, as we set healthy, yet loving boundaries on those "prodigals" in our lives, always ready to embrace them even in the midst of their darkest hours.

Hopefully in the times you fail and then reach out for reconciliation, there will be a loving person who will grab on tightly and pull you toward truth. If you want to be a reconciler you need to believe that no one can go too far. If you extend the same grace to others in your life...it will never be too late for them to reconcile with you. Consider the words of the apostle Paul to the Colossians in chapter 3:12,13: "Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Come Home

If our Heavenly Father, the creator of heaven and earth, of all that lives and breathes can extend such mercy to me, how can I withhold the hand of mercy from another? So whether that prodigal is my daughter, my spouse, my co-worker or friend...I forgive and say "come home" again and again.

It's never about you being worthy. No one is worthy. It's about the fact you are God's child. If you are out there on a limb and you feel there is no place to go and you're heart is breaking...that you have gone too far...you have not...come home. Come home.

More

More